Bad habits can get you pinched

"Well," he said with a short despairing laugh, "here I am. Caught red-handed, Queen - and by you, of all people."

    "Fate," murmured Ellery. "And a kind fate for you, my careening young bucko. A more vigorous operative might have - what's the phrase? ah, yes - plugged you first and asked questions afterward. Fortunately, having a sensitive stomach, I don't carry firearms. . . . Fearfully bad habit, Kirk, prowling about ladies' bedrooms at this time of night. Get you into trouble."

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen) 

Contemplating murder

     Then Ellery said gently: "Oh, come, dad. Don't let that drunken boor get the best of you. He does raise the hackles, I confess. I've felt, myself, a prickling at the nape of my neck that's as old as man's enemies . . .  . Get that look off your face, dad, please."

    "He's the first man," said the Inspector deliberately, "in twenty years who has made me feel like committing murder. The other one was the bird who raped his own daughter; and at least he was crazy."

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

Don't mess with the Inspector

     "And now, Inspector, I must insist that you call your dogs off. I won't have this perpetual persecution. If you persist, I shall leave at once."

    "That's what you think," said the Inspector sourly. "But you're not leaving until I give you permission to. If you make the slighest move to get out of the country, I'll arrest you on suspicion. It's a swell word, and it's very elastic. Matter of fact, I could slam you behind bars this minute for being an undesirable character. So you stay put in this apartment of yours, Sewell, and be a nice girl. Don't try any tricks on me."

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

Not a flattering description

The three rooms of the Llewes suite were directly below the Kirk apartment. The door was opened in response to the Inspector's ring by an angular maid with cubistic cheeks and an unlovely pointed nose. She began to protest in a weak whining Cockney voice, but then she saw the Sergeant and fell back gaping.

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

Even cops can have fun

     Osborne sat very still. His weary eyes shifted, and his knuckles became a dirty white. "Why - I can't - remember any such error," he muttered.

    "Liar," said Ellery cheerfully. "We know all about it, Ozzie. If I may call you Ozzie . . ."

    "You - know?" said Osborne with difficulty, raising his eyes.

    "Oh, certainly. Don Kirk himself told us."

    Osborne took out his handkerchief and wiped his forehead. "I'm sorry, Mr. Queen. I thought - "

    "Come on," snapped the Inspector impatiently. "You, there!" he bellowed at the policeman, who started and went pale. "You see that this man Osborne here doesn't touch that house phone for five minutes. Be good, Osborne. . . . Well, come on, boys. If there's any fun we might's well be in on it, too!"

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

We do agree occasionally

     "There are a lot of 'ifs' in this business, my son. I'm not claiming anything. May've been born and brought up in the city here and never left the Bronx once, for all I know. Or this may have been his first visit to New York. But I'm betting he wasn't a New Yorker."

    "Probably not," drawled Ellery. "I just made the point to get it on the record. I think you're right, myself."

    "Oh, you do?" snapped the Inspector. "When you use that tone of voice I get suspicious. Come on - what d'ye know?"

     "Nothing that you don't know," laughed Ellery. "I've told you every little thing that's happened so far when you weren't around. Can't I agree with you once in a while without being jumped like horse thief?"

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

Missing persons

 Perhaps the most precise development in the science of policing is the uncanny ability of the modern detective to trace the movements and establish the identities of so-called unknown persons. Since he is not infallible his score is imperfect; but his percentage of successes is remarkably high, considering the minotaur's maze of difficulties. The whole complicated mechanism of the police chain hums along on oiled bearings.

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

Doesn't like coincidences

     "Well," said the big man with a sigh, "I guess I'm being an old woman about this business. But I felt that I had to tell some one about it. I'm all clear?"

    "As far as I am concerned, you are,' said Ellery genially. And then he rose and crushed his cigaret in an ashtray. "By the way, would you mind introducing me to this Varjian, Macgowan? It mightn't hurt to check up a bit."

    "Then you do think . . ."

    Ellery shrugged. "There's only one thing about it I don't like - the fact that it's coincidental. And I detest coincidences."

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

Not really a cop

     "I know nothing. I know," said Ellery sadly, "rather less than nothing, when it comes to that. I might, however, ask you what you know." Macgowan started. "I hadn't got round to you, you see. But you do you know something, and I think it would be wise for you to let me share your knowledge. I'm the repository for more secrets than you could throw at a dead cat, if that's the polite custom. I'm unofficial - blessed state, you understand. I tell what I think should be told and keep all the rest to myself."

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

Come on, guys, use your imagination

     "May I compliment you, Miss Temple, upon your choice of gown? It reminds me of a hydrangea or something, if that's what they have in China."

    She laughed. "You mean the lotus blossom, I presume? Thank you, sir; that's the prettiest compliment I've had since I came west. Occidentals haven't much imagination when it comes to flattering women."

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)

Fancy or good?

 One of the main things I look for in young basketball players is if they understand the difference between fancy and good. A player can go in for a shot with all sorts of spectacular ball-handling moves - but it still only counts two points, the same as a simple, unspectacular layup.

Is there not the same understanding that must be gained from life? Do we want to be spectacular, or to be good? Being a good father who brings home the bacon from a boring desk job or factory position won't attract the media, but it will be pleasing to God.

All those foreign foods

 "All right," said the Inspector, dropping his arms wearily. "I give up. Go the whole hog. Go puzzlin' your brains about Chinese oranges and Mexican tamales and alligator pears and Spanish onions and English muffins, for all I care! All I say is - can't a man eat an orange without some crackpot like you reading a mystery into it?"

(from The Chinese Orange Mystery, by Ellery Queen)