Sunday, June 25, 2023

Poor California!

     "Stay on, I beg of you, and enjoy beauties of spot, on which subject Mr. Bradshaw will be happy to make oration for you any time, any place."

    "That's right," the boy nodded. "Loaf on a palm-fringed shore and forget your troubles. Somewhere winter is raging - "

    "In July?" Van Horn inquired.

    "Sure - at the South Pole, for example. Put Hollywood out of your thoughts. Remember - Hawaii has the climate California thinks it has."

(from The Black Camel, by Earl Derr Biggers)

Friday, June 16, 2023

Funeral feast

     "Wu complains that no one eats his dinner," he smiled. "He is great artist who lacks appreciation, and his ancient heart cracks with rage."

    "Well," remarked Jimmy Bradshaw, "I suppose it's an unfeeling thing to say, but I could put away a little of his handiwork."

    Chan nodded. "I have thought of that. Later, perhaps. Why not? Do the dead gain if the living starve?"

(from The Black Camel by Earl Derr Biggers)

Thursday, June 15, 2023

Keep digging

     The fortune-teller looked keenly at Charlie. "What have you accomplished?" he wanted to know.

    Charlie shrugged. "Up to the present moment, I seem to have been setting off fireworks in the rain."

    "That's precisely what I thought," Tarneverro said impatiently.

    "Do not lose heart," Chan advised. "Changing the figure, I might add that to dig up the tree, we must start with the root. All this digging is routine matter that does not fascinate, but at any moment we may strike a root of vital importance."

(from The Black Camel by Earl Derr Biggers)

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Of ancient heathen races

     "Please detail your activities from hour of twenty minutes past seven onward," Chan requested.

    "I was engaged with my duties, sir, in the dining-room and the kitchen. I may add that it has been a rather trying evening, in my department. The Chinese cook has exhibited all the worst qualities of a heathen race - I'm sure I beg your pardon."

    "A heathen race," repeated Charlie gravely, "that was busy inventing the art of printing at a moment when gentlemen in Great Britain were still beating one another over head ith spiked clubs."

(from The Black Camel by Earl Derr Biggers)

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

A butler does have his dignity

     "You were in Hollywood before that, maybe?"

    "For about eighteen months, I was."

    "A butler, always?"

    "Always a butler, sir. I had a number of berths before I went with Miss Fane. I am bound to ay that I was unhappy in all of them."

    "The work was, perhaps, too difficult?"

    "Not at all, sir. I objected to the familiarity of my employers. There is a certain reserve that should exit between servant and master. I found that lacking. The ladies I worked for would often weep in my presence and tell me stories of unrequited love. The gentlemen who engaged me were inclined to treat me like some long-lost brother. One in particular was accustomed to address me as 'old pal' and when a bit under the influence, would embrace me in the presence of guests. A man has his dignity, sir."

(from The Black Camel, by Earl Derr Biggers)

Monday, June 12, 2023

A threat with some teeth in it

 "Kashimo, you may enjoy yourself by keen observation of the neighborhood. But if you repeat one former performance and spoil any footprints for me, I will at once arrange for you to return to former position as janitor of fish market."

(from The Black Camel, by Earl Derr Biggers)

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Of beggars and bridges

     "Long time I have been in present business," he said softly, "but rough blunt feelings do not come natural to me yet. I am sorry for this lady. Never before this moment have I seen her - yet I am so very sorry." He stood up. "The black camel has knelt at plenty famous gate tonight," he added.

    Tarneverro remained some distance from the body. He seemed to control himself with an effort. "Poor Shelah!" he muttered. "Life was very sweet to her."

    "It is sweet to all of us," Charlie nodded. "Even the beggar hesitates to cross a rotting bridge."

(from The Black Camel, by Earl Derr Biggers)

Saturday, June 10, 2023

Even butlers lose their cool

     Bradshaw stood looking about the little group. Jessop came in and, picking up the silver tray on which he had served the cocktails, prepared to collect the empty glasses. Outside the door, The Song of the Islands trailed off into silence.

    "Shelah Fane has  been murdered in the pavilion," said the boy in a low voice.

    There was a sudden crash. Jessop had been guilty of his first error in forty years of service. He had dropped the silver tray.

    "I beg pardon," he said to no one in particular.

(from The Black Camel, by Earl Derr Biggers)

Friday, June 09, 2023

Preparing for a long speech

     "By the way, Inspector, this is a happy meeting. I was thinking of calling you up. Just how do you plan to spend the evening?"

    "I attend Rotary club banquet in this hotel," Chan explained.

    "Good. You'll be here some time?"

    Chan nodded. "I fear so. It happens very few after-dinner speeches are equipped with self-stopper."

(from The Black Camel, by Earl Derr Biggers)

Thursday, June 08, 2023

Hollywood? No big deal.

     "Tell me," she cut in. "What do you think of Shelah?"

    "Shelah?" He paused. "Oh, she's all right. Nice and friendly but - a bit artificial - a good actress, on and off. In the past two years I've met enough screen stars to start a Holywood of my own, and what I always say is - doffing my hat to southern California - you can have 'em."

(from The Black Camel, by Earl Derr Biggers)

Wednesday, June 07, 2023

Just waiting

     The Oceanic swung about to the channel entrance. There stood Diamond Head, like a great lion - if you want the time-worn simile - crouched to spring. A crouching lion, yes; the figure is plausible up to that point; but as for springing - well, there has never been the slightest chance of that. Diamond Head is a kamaaina of the islands, and has long ago sensed the futility of acting on impulse - of acting, as a matter of fact, at all.

(from The Black Camel, by Earl Derr Biggers)

Tuesday, June 06, 2023

Stay away from wildcats

     "Maestro," Alleyn said, "I am very ignorant in these matters, but I imagine that the relationship between pedagogue and pupil is, or at least can be, very close, very intimate."

    "My dear Mr. Alleyn, if you are suggesting - "

    "Which I am not. Not for a moment. There can be close relationships that have no romantic overtones."

    "Of course. And allow me to say that with a pupil it would be in the highest degree a mistake to allow oneself to become involved in such an attachment. And apart from all that," he added with feeling, "when the lady has the temperament of a wildcat and the appetite of a hyena, it would be sheer lunacy."

(from Photo Finish, by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

Monday, June 05, 2023

Stiff upper lip

     "Bed-making! Gear?" he exclaimed. "But I am baffled. Here is the most distinguished painter of our time, whom I have, above all things, desired to meet and she talks of bed-making as a sequence to murder."

    "She's being British," said Alleyn. "If there were any  bullets about she'd bite on them. Pay no attention."

    "That's right," Troy assured Signor Lattienzo. "It's a substitute for hysterics."

(from Photo Finish by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

Sunday, June 04, 2023

No, don't use that!

     Troy inserted her thin hand in a gingerly fashion into a large pocket of her dress. Using only her first finger and her thumb, she drew out something wrapped in one of Alleyn's handkerchiefs. She was in the habit of using them, as she preferred a large one, and she had been known when intent on her work to confuse the handkerchief and her paint rag, with regrettable results to the handkerchief and to her face.

(from Photo Finish, by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

Saturday, June 03, 2023

The light side of crime

     "Little beast," said Troy. "Cruel little pig, tormenting her like that. And everybody thinking it a jolly joke. And the shaming thing is, it was rather funny."

    "That's the worst of ill-doing, isn't it? It so often has its funny side. Come to think of it, I don't believe I could have stuck my job out if it wasn't so. The earliest playwrights knew all about that: their devils more often than not were clowns and their clowns were always cruel."

(from Photo Finish, by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

Friday, June 02, 2023

Nightmares

     "I'm abroad in the night because I can't sleep. I can't help seeing - everything - her. Whenever I close my eyes - there it is. If I do doze - it's there. Like those crummy old horror films. An awful face suddenly rushing at one. It might as well be one of Dracula's ladies after the full treatment."

(from Photo Finish by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

Thursday, June 01, 2023

Original with Holmes?

 "When all likely places have been fruitlessly explored, begin on the unlikely and carry on into the preposterous." (from Photo Finish by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

This is a principle that Sherlock Holmes quotes. One wonders if Marsh is quoting Sir Arthur, or if Sir Arthur was quoting someone else.