Dreary life in a health food home

     Mrs. McCall herself was eating a slice of Health Bread and nut butter. For she practiced as well as preached the doctrines which she had striven for so many years to inculcate in an unthinking populace. Her day always began with a light but nutritious breakfast, at which a peculiarly uninviting cereal, which looked and tasted like an old straw hat that had been run through a meat chopper, competed for first place in the dislike of her husband and son with a more than usually offensive brand of imitation coffee.
     Mr. McCall was inclined to think that he loathed the imitation cofree rather more than the cereal, but Washington (the son) held strong views on the latter's superior ghastliness. Both Washington and his father, however, would have been fair-minded enough to admit that it was a close thing.

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

That is real eating

Archie was not a man with a wide visiting-list among people with families, and it was so long since he had seen a growing boy in action at the table that he had forgotten what sixteen is capable of doing with a knife and fork, when it really squares its elbows, takes a deep breath, and gets going. The spectacle which he witnessed was consequently at first a little unnerving. The long boy's idea of trifling with a meal appeared to be to swallow it whole and reach out for more. He ate like a starving Eskimo. Archie, in the time he had spent in the trenches making the world safe for the working-man to strike in, had occasionally been quite peckish, but he sat dazed before this majestic hunger. This was real eating.

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Unwieldy names

     "It couldn't really be that, could it?"
     Archie looked grave. He hated to give pain, but felt he must be honest. "It might" he said. "People give their children all sorts of rummy names. My second name's Tracy. And I have a pal in England who was christened Cuthbert de la Hay Horace. Fortunately everybody calls him Stinker."

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

He inspired the worst in them

     Lucille sighed wearily. "Archie, darling, do you know any really good swear-words?"
     "Well," said Archie, reflectively, "let me see. I did pick up a few tolerably ripe and breezy expressions out in France. All through my military career there was something about me - some subtle magnetism, don't you know, and that sort of thing - that seemed to make colonels and blighters of that order rather inventive. I sort of inspired them, don't you know. I remember one brass-hat addressing me for quite ten minutes, saying something new all the time. And even then he seemed to think he had only touched the fringe of the subject. As a matter of fact, he said straight out in the most frank and confiding way that mere words couldn't do justice to me."

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Mike Mazurki trivia

Mazurki's face was one of those familiar ones that you saw all the time, but never could connect with a name.

His birth name was Markiyan Mazurkevych, born to a ethnic Ukranian family, in what is now Ukraine, but was then part of Austria-Hungary. His family emigrated to the US in 1913.

He played football and basketball at Manhattan University.

He graduated from Fordham law school and became an attorney, but took up professional wrestling because he could make a lot more money.

His slurred speech was reportedly because of an injury to his throat while wrestling.

He was co-founder and first president of the Cauliflower Alley Club, a professional wrestling association. A photo of his ear is the logo of the organization.

Contrary to his film roles, in real life he was an intelligent and well-read conversationalist.

He played minor league football for the Wessington Passaic Red Devils.

That is a suit?

     "This," said the proprietor, tranquilly, borrowing his way to where Archie stood and exhibiting a saffron-coloured outrage, which appeared to be a poor relation of the flannel family, "would put you back fifty dollars. And cheap!"
     "Fifty dollars!"
     "Sixty, I said. I don't speak always distinct."
     Archie regarded the distressing garment with a shuddering horror. A young man with an educated taste in clothes, it got right in among his nerve centers.
     "But, honestly, old soul, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but that isn't a suit, it just a regrettable incident."

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Useless press agent

"I just needed something like that. I've got a press agent, and I will say for him that he eats well and sleeps well and has just enough intelligence to cash his monthly cheque without forgetting what he went into the bank for, but outside of that you can take it from me he's not one of the world's workers! He's about as much solid use to a girl with aspirations as a pain in the lower ribs. It's three weeks since he got me into print at all, and then the brightest thing he could think up was that my favourite breakfast fruit was an apple."

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Concerning bad backs

I remember when I was young and full of vinegar scoffing at older men who would excuse their lack of activity because of "a bad back." I would get a chuckle out of it.

Well, I am not chuckling any more. Bad backs are very real and very debilitating. And I humbly apologize to those concerned for my disrespectful thoughts.

Needless jealousy

He had an idea that there were words which would have straightened everything out, but he was not an eloquent young man and could not find them. He felt aggrieved. Lucille, he considered, ought to have known that he was immune as regarded females with flashing eyes and experimentally-coloured hair. Why, dash it, he could have extracted flies from the eyes of Cleopatra with one hand and Helen of Troy with the other, simultaneously, without giving them a second thought.

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Stars become slaves

It is interesting that decent people willingly watch, whether in movies, sports, or music, people who we probably would not allow into our homes because of their conduct. We trot them out to entertain us, and then we tell them, "Get lost." In effect, they become (highly-paid) slaves whom we bring out for our entertainment, and then send away. I wonder if they realize that. Probably not, because they are constantly surrounded by toadies and sycophants who treat them as royalty.

Ol' Dad agrees

She came in view at this moment, a trim little figure in a white skirt and a pale blue sweater. She waved to Archie; and Archie, as always at the sight of her, was conscious of that jumpy, fluttering sensation about the heart, which, translated into words, would have formed the question, "What on earth could have made a girl like that fall in love with a chump like me?"

It was a question which he was continually asking himself, and one which was perpetually in the mind also of Mr. Brewster, his father-in-law. The matter of Archie's unworthiness to be the husband of Lucille was practically the only one on which the two men saw eye to eye.

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Not the life of the party

     "Who's this man Seacliff?" he demanded, without preamble. "I heard he's a friend of yours."
     "Oh, you've met him, what?" said Archie. "Had a nice little chat together, yes? Talked of this and that, no!"
     "We have not said a word to each other."
     "Really? Oh, well, dear old Squiffy is one of those strong, silent fellers you know. You mustn't mind if he's a bit dumb. He never says much, but it's whispered round the clubs that he thinks a lot. It was rumoured in the spring of nineteen-thirteen that Squiffy was on the point of making a bright remark, but it never came to anything."

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

In-store model

Sometimes, although it might be eleven in the morning, she wore evening dress; sometimes, although it might be August, she wore furs; often she wore suits and street dresses, but always it was possible to tell that she was not merely a customer, but a dream provided by the management.

Women who had rather more than Joyce Wentworth's figure, although not always so judiciously arranged, sometimes identified themselves with the dream and purchased the evening dresses, the furs, the coats and suits and street dresses, which she made resplendent. And often they wondered, afterward, what it was that had gone wrong between dream and realization.

(from Murder Within Murder, by Richard and Frances Lockridge)

Too much of a good thing

When she had got home she had said suddenly that what she was hungry for was doughnuts, and why not make some? They had made some and they were fine, but Pam had somehow mis-estimated, because there were more doughnuts than, from the ingredients involved, seemed conceivable. They made doughnuts until after two in the morning, taking turns frying them, and by that time everything in the house was full of doughnuts and so were the Norths. They were full of doughnuts for several days and after that they were not much interested in doughnuts for a long time, and never again in making them.

(from Murder Within Murder, by Frances and Richard Lockridge)

Strange, even for a writer

One has, of course, to make allowances for writers, all of them being more or less loony. Look at Shakespeare, for instance. Very unbalanced. Used to go about stealing ducks. Nevertheless, I couldn't help feeling that in springing Joke Goods on the guardian of the girl he loved Boko had carried an author's natural goofiness too far. Even Shakespeare might have hesitated to go to such lengths.

(from Jeeves In the Morning, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Too close for comfort

I was conscious o a growing embarrassment. A little more of this, I felt, and he would elicit the fact that his betrothed had once been very near to Bertram - a dashed sight nearer, as we have seen, than Bertram had liked: and no recently engaged bimbo cares to discover that he as not the little woman's first choice. It sort of rubs the bloom off the thing. What he wants to feel is that she spent her time gazing out of the turret window in a yearning spirit till he came galloping up on the white horse.

(from Jeeves In the Morning, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Just say something about it!

A rather odd look came into his map, and he fixed me with a cold and challenging eye, as if daring me to tart something. I remembered having seen the same defiant glitter behind the spectacles of a man I met in a country hotel once, just before he told me his name was Snodgrass.

(from Jeeves In the Morning, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

The dog on Petticoat Junction

Remember the pooch on Petticoat Junction? Do you know what his name was? Well . . . on the show he was always called just Dog. In real life he was Higgins, and he went on to become a huge star in the movie Benji. Reportedly Higgins and actor Edgar Buchanan (Uncle Joe) were good buddies on the set.

Perry Como trivia

He was the seventh of ten children, and the first born in America. (One source says 13 children, so there may have been some that did not live to adulthood.)

He did not begin speaking English until he entered school, since the Comos spoke Italian at home.

He originally wanted to be a barber, and had his own shop at the age of 14.

He was threatened with dismissal from the Ted Weems band because he left them in Chicago to be with his wife at the birth of their first child.

He and his high school sweetheart were married for 65 years.

Bing Crosby once called him "the man who invented casual."

His birth given name was Pierino.

He was the seventh son of a seventh son.

His second and third children were adopted, because his wife could no longer have children after the birth of their first son.

"I've done nothing that I can call exciting. I was a barber. Since then I've been a singer. That's it."

Was Perry Como for real?

Perry Como just might have had the most relaxed voice of all the crooners.

We are so accustomed to immorality and infidelity among public figures that it is hard to know when things are for real. Even Bob Hope, who was married to Dolores for decades, was a notorious womanizer, so his marriage was not "real" from that standpoint.

Como was married to Roselle Belline in 1933, and they stayed married until her death in 1998 - for 65 years. They reportedly raised their three children with traditional, non-show business values. Como was supposed to have been very picky about what went into his performances: if it was of questionable taste, it would not be included. The IMDB site said this about him: "The private Como was exactly as he appeared to the public: a quiet, self-effacing man who considered his performing activities as strictly tertiary to his family and his faith."

But was all that real, or just a façade? Who knows, at this late date? At least he had the decency to want to appear to be decent.

Just plain ugly

This was an individual who as far as thews and sinews went appeared to be the village blacksmith or his twin brother, but who in the matter of looks fell short of the standards of the lowest beauty contest. His was a face that could never have launched anything like a thousand ships, and something - possibly an elephant - appeared to have sat on it and squashed it. No one broad-minded will allow himself to be prejudiced against a fellow man because the latter has a squashed face, but this squashed face had in addition a grim and menacing look, such as is so often seen on the faces of actors playing bit parts in gangster films, and - possibly inadvertently - he gave the impression that it would take very little to give him offense.

(from Bachelors Anonymous, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

A hideout for a blueblood

Daphne Dolby's first port of call before going on to her office was number 5 Murphy's Mews, which is situation in the seedier part of Chelsea and inhabited by some of the most dubious characters in London. A few may have hearts of gold but the best that can be said for most of the is that they are not at the moment actually wanted by the police, though it is always a matter for speculation as to when the police may not feel a yearning for their society. One of those was Daphne's betrothed, Sir Jaklyn Warner. He had been living there for some weeks and would continue to live there as long as the rent collector was prepared to accept charm of manner and glibness of speech as a substitute for cash.

(from Bachelors Anonymous, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Algy the Dimwit

In the series of Bulldog Drummond movies, no matter what actor portrayed Algernon Longworth, he emerged as an intolerably halfwitted individual - so much so that it is almost painful. Why Drummond tolerates him is puzzling.

Tragedy in Heather Angel's life

Heather Angel was the doe-eyed actress who portrayed Bulldog Drummond's fiancée (and finally wife) in several movies. Tragedy struck twice in her life. Her father, Andrea Angel, was killed in the Silvertown explosion in 1917 at a plant that produced TNT. Fifty tons of the stuff exploded, killing 73 people and injuring 400 more. Angel's second husband, Robert Sinclair, was killed when protecting her from an intruder who broke into their home in 1970.

Follow Elmer

A moment later Archie had the studio to himself. Two minutes later he was picking his way cautiously down the fire-escape after the manner of the recent Mr. Moon. Archie had not seen much of Mr. Moon, but he had seen enough to know that in certain crises his methods were sound and should be followed. Elmer was not a good man; his ethics were poor and his moral code shaky; but in the matter of legging it away from a situation of peril and discomfort he had no superior.

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Gave him quite a start

     "The more I see of America," sighed Archie, "the more it amazes me. All you birds seem to have been doing things from the cradle upwards. I wish I could do things!"
     "Well, why don't you?"
     "Archie flicked the ash from his cigarette into the finger-bowl. "Oh, I don't know, you know," he said, "Somehow, none of our family ever have. I don't know why it is, but whenever a Moffam starts out to do things he infallibly makes a bloomer. There was a Moffam in the Middle Ages who had a sudden spasm of energy and set out to make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, dressed as a wandering friar. Rum ideas they had in those days."
     "Did he get there?"
     "Absolutely not! Just as he was leaving the front door his favorite hound mistook him for a tramp - or a varlet, or a scurvy knave, or whatever they used to call them at the time - and bit him in the fleshy part of the leg."
     "Well, at least he started."
     "Enough to make a chappie start, what?"

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

BIG cops

Archie had listened to the dialogue with growing uneasiness. Not for the first time since he had made their acquaintance, he became vividly aware of the exceptional physical gifts of these two men. The New York police force demands from those who would join its ranks an extremely high standard of stature and sinew, but it was obvious that jolly old Donahue and Cassidy must have passed in first shot without any difficulty whatever.

(from The Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

And you think I snore!

The Minister of War lay upon his back, his distinguished corpulence severely dislocating the chaste simplicity of the bed-clothing. Athwart his shelving chest, fat hands were folded in a gesture affectingly naïve. His face was red, a noble high-light shone upon the promontory of his bald pate, his mouth was open. To the best of his unconscious ability, he was giving a protracted imitation of a dog-fight; and he was really exhibiting sublime virtuosity; one readily distinguished  individual howls, growls, helps, against and undertone of blended voices of excited non-combatants.

(from The Lone Wolf, by Louis Joseph Vance)

Don't depise the cat

He could not have enjoyed the immunity ascribed to the Lone Wolf as long as he had without gaining a power of sturdy self-confidence in addition to a certain amount of temperate contempt for spies of the law and all their ways.

Against the peril inherent in this last, however, he was self-warned, esteeming it the most fatal chink in the armour of the lawbreaker, this disposition to underestimate the acumen of the police: far too many promising young adventurers like himself were annually laid by the heels in that snare of their own infatuate weaving. The mouse has every right, if he likes, to despise the cat for a heavy-handed and bloodthirsty beast, lacking in wit and imaging, a creature of simple force-majeure; but that mouse will not advisedly swagger in cat-haunted territory; a blow of the paw is, when all's said and done, a blow of the paw - something to numb the wits of the wiliest mouse.

(from The Lone Wolf, by Louis Joseph Vance)

Descendents

It is not the having of many offspring that brings joy to an old man's heart, but having well-behaved offspring.

An unwieldy monicker

"Did you see the lawyer?"

"Yes, I saw him. His name is Stoganbuhler."

"Well, sooner him than me."

(from The Girl In Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Spinoza

Jeeves (Wodehouse's peerless butler) liked to read Spinoza. One of Bertie Wooster's collection of fiancees tried to mold him into an intellectual. (Couldn't be done.) She caught him in a bookstore trying to buy a copy of Spinoza for Jeeves, and assumed he wanted to read it. He did not.

I have not read Spinoza. I do not want to read Spinoza. I am on Bertie's side. If anyone out there feels a wild inclination to buy me a volume of Spinoza, just save your money.

Too much happiness

     But before he could reach the door it opened, and he saw that Chippendale, the human homing pigeon, had returned. He received chilly glances from both Jerry and Crispin. There are times when a nephew and uncle with a great deal on their minds are glad of the addition to their deliberations of a weedy little man who looks like a barnyard fowl, but this was not one of them.
     What particularly irked them was the fact that this foul-impersonator was so plainly in the best of spirits, looking indeed as if he had just bought the world and paid cash down for it. That was what in their despondent mood they found so hard to bear. A melancholy Chippendale they could have endured; to a Chippendale in tears they might have extended a cordial welcome; but a Chippendale grinning all over his face in the manner popularized by Cheshire cats affected them like a knife stab in the breast.

(from The Girl In Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Amputation

     I was telling you about my Aunt Myrtle. She had false teeth same as father, but whereas his fitted him like the paper on the wall, hers didn't, and she had to get another set, which left her with the first lot on her hands. She never liked wasting anything, but she couldn't think what to do with them. Why she didn't pawn them and give the proceeds to the West Africans, I don't know, but apparently it didn't occur to her.
     The idea she got after a lot of thought was to make them the basis, if you know what the word means, of a mousetrap. She got a scientific feller she knew to fix one up with the teeth inside it in such a way that any mouse that shoved its nose in would get its loaf of bread snapped off, and all would have been well if she hadn't gone into the kitchen in the dark one night with no shoes on and tripped over the trap, which promptly came down like a ton of bricks on her big toe, nearly severing it. And the doctors at the hospital decided to amputate in case gangrene might set in.
     And as the teeth were legally hers, the result that she became the only woman in East Dulwich, where she was living at the time, who could truthfully say that she had bitten her own toe off. It gave her prestige.

(from The Girl In Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Three at a loss

The shock of bad news affects different people in different ways. Some hardy souls are able to take it with a stiff upper lip, but on none of the three upper lips at the moment under advisement was there anything remotely resembling rigidity. Crispin, who on receipt of Barney's bombshell had quivered like a jelly in a high wind, was still quivering; Jerry uttered an odd gurgling sound which might have proceeded from the children's toy known as the dying rooster; while Chippendale once more requested some unspecified person to chase his Aunt Fanny up a gum tree. It would not be too much to say that consternation reigned.

(from The Girl In Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Fess Parker trivia

People of my generation remember Parker primarily because his part if the Davy Crockett movie and the Daniel Boone TV series.

He enlisted in the Navy in the latter part of World War II, but was turned down as a pilot because of his height (6' 5"). Then he tried to become a radioman gunner, but could not fit in that part of the plane, either.

During college, he was stabbed in the neck during an argument after an auto collision.

Among others, Parker beat out James Arness and Buddy Ebson for the Crockett role in the movie.

Parker's path in Hollywood was helped by introductions by Adolph Menjou, who had met him on a guest visit to the University of Texas.

He was once asked by President Reagan to become the Ambassador to Australia.

He gave Buddy Ebsen guitar lessons in order to get dancing lessons from him.

He founded a winery and vineyard, which is still producing.

William Conrad trivia

If you are an old radio fan, then you easily recognize William Conrad's voice, because it seemingly was everywhere during those days. Later on he was the star of the Cannon television show for five seasons. Glamorous he was not, but he still had that resonant bass voice.

Conrad was a fighter pilot during World War II. He left the service with the rank of Captain. He twice flew a P-39 under the Golden Gate.

He estimated that he played 7500 roles during his radio career.

He had three memorable (but invisible) roles as narrator: for the radio show Escape, and later for the cartoon Rocky and Bullwinkle and The Fugitive, which starred David Janssen.

At its peak, his weight was 260 pounds, packed onto a 5'7" frame.

He was certain to be found walking around the stage with his hands in his pockets.

Although he was by-passed for the role of Matt Dillon on the TV version of Gunsmoke because of his corpulence, he did direct some of the episodes.

The lead statue of the Maltese Falcon which was marred by Sydney Greenstreet at the end of the movie was given to Conrad by studio chief Jack Warner. After Conrad's death it was auctioned for $398,500, which at the time was the highest price ever paid for a movie prop.

How tall were the Three Stooges?

They looked small on the screen because they were small in real life. And I think their directors deliberately chose tall leading ladies for their pictures as a contrast.

Moe 5' 3 1/2"
Larry 5' 4"
Curly 5' 5"

Not front cover material

He was not a physically attractive man. His complexion was muddy, his ears stuck out like the handles of an antique Greek vase, and he had the beak and eyes of a farmyard fowl. Seeing him, one wondered how Marlene Hibbs could enjoy his society, even though a free bicycle lesson went with it.

(from The Girl in Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Prime candidate

     "You must marry someone with lots of money."
     "Who would have a man like me?"
     "With a place like this? Dozens. You've only to advertise in The Times that you're open to offers and they'll come running. Good heavens, man, you're amiable, intelligent, understanding, sober, honest and kind to animals. I saw you talking yesterday to that cat that hangs around, and I could see you were saying all the right things. You'd be snapped up in no time.

(from The Girl in Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Models should grin and bear it

     "Don't wobble, confound you!" snorted Mr. Wheeler.
     "Yes, but, my dear old artist," said Archie, "what you don't seem to grasp - what you appear not to realize - is that I'm getting a crick in the back."
     "You weakling! You miserable, invertebrate worm. Move an inch and I'll murder you, and come and dance on your grave every Wednesday and Saturday. I'm just getting it."
     "It's in the spine that it seems to catch me principally."
     "Be a man, you faint-hearted string-bean!" urged J. B. Wheeler. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Why, a girl who was posing for me last week stood for a solid hour on one leg, holding a tennis racket over her head and smiling brightly withal."
     "The female of the species is more india-rubbery than the male," argued Archie.

(from Indiscretions of Archie, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Looked bad, did he?

His aspect was grave.  He looked, as always, as if he had been carved from some durable form of wood by someone who was taking a correspondence course in sculpture and had just reached his third lesson.

(from The Girl in Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Stuffy, what?

The library was on the second floor, a large somber room brooded over by hundreds of grim, calf-bound books assembled in the days when the reading public went in for volumes of collected sermons and had not yet acquired a taste for anything with spies and a couple of good murders in it.

(from The Girl in Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Old What's-her-name

 And his first move must be to find out her name, a thing he had once again carelessly omitted to do. A wooer who attempts to woo without having this vital fact at his fingers' ends can never hope to make a real success of his courtship.

(from The Girl in Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Mean old cab drivers

The cab rolled off. Jerry walked back to his flat. He had to. Barribault's had taken all his assets, with the exception of a few coppers, and mere charm of manner is never accepted by taxi drivers as a substitute for cash.

(from The Girl in Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Do you get the idea that she was beautiful?

There are girls who are rather pretty and girls who are all right; there are girls who aren't too bad and girls who have a certain something; but it is only seldom that one encounters a girl who is really spectacular and takes the breath away. Into this limited class Vera, only daughter of the late Charles ("Good Old Charlie") Upshaw and his wife, Dame Flora Faye, the actress, unquestionably fell.

(from The Girl in Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

A compliment - I suppose

She laughed. Analyzing it, Jerry described it to himself as a silvery laugh. Rather like, he thought, for there was a touch of the poet in him, the sound ice makes in a jug of beer on a hot day in August.

(from The Girl in Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Hair dye did not work

The colour of his hair, a clamorous red, was the spring of his secret sorrow. By that token he was a marked man. At irregular intervals he made frantic attempts to disguise it; but the only dye that would serve at all was a jet-black and looked like the devil in contrast with his high colouring. Moreover, before a week passed, the red would drop up again wherever the hair grew thing, lending him the appearance of a badly-singed pup.

(from The Lone Wolfe, by Louis Joseph Vance)

Don't lift them

The arresting of shoplifters, like art, knows no frontiers. A repugnance toward those who lift shops is common to all emporia, whether in the United States of America or on the other side of the ocean.

(from The Girl In Blue, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Would this constitute torture?

"Zimmer's breaking down to bedrock. Maybe it wasn't strictly ethical, but Teal showed him a quart bottle of castor oil and he cracked wide open."

(from Crooked Shadow, by Kurt Steel)

Gabby Hayes trivia

Hayes was, of course, the crusty side-kick of Roy Rogers and Hopalong Cassidy.

He did not learn to ride a horse until he was in his 40s.

He and his wife worked in vaudeville, but lost all their money in the Crash of 1929, and moved to California to try their fortunes there.

In real life he was intelligent, well-groomed and articulate.

Concerning westerns, he said, "I hate 'em. Really can't stand 'em. You have so few plots."

Married one time, to Olive E. Ireland, for about 43 years.

A single-minded woman

To have dissuade her would have taxed the combined arts of a Demosthenes, a Cato, and a Dale Carnegie. In thirty seconds we four humble mortals knew defeat, struck our tattered colors, and retired before a swirl of fury that would have put to frantic rout fie times our strength in Memelukes.

(from Crooked Shadow, by Kurt Steel)

Quiet sunrise

The sun is coming up as I type. No wind is blowing at all, that I can see. Not a creature is stirring in the house (amazingly enough, given how many grandchildren are here). It is quiet, and it is beautiful, even if I hardly slept at all.

Idiot detectives

     Henry thrust himself from the window and strode over to stare down at her. "Why didn't you come? Three days and a half," savagely. "What've you been doing since Wednesday?"
     She snorted. "Hiring detectives - and firing them. Do all the epileptics and morons naturally swarm to your profession, Hyer? Or do they get that way afterward?"

(from Crooked Shadow, by Kurt Steele)

Nice depiction

"The house was silent, dark save for the lighted vestibule, wrapped in the rhythmic, small-hour hush of the city." (from Crooked Shadow, by Kurt Steele)

I thought that was an interesting description - "rhythmic hush."

Crazy map

"Who laid out the streets in the Bronx?"

"The Indians. After the Dutch paid 'em off in red-eye."

"That's a good a theory as any."

(from Crooked Shadow, by Kurt Steel)

The same theory exists about the street system in Fort Smith, Arkansas.

If they're not against us, they're for us

"In a war," Brook said defensively, "when you see a chap pointing his gun the same direction you're pointing yours, you have a feeling of sympathy for him, and if you don't know anything about him you're naturally curious."

(from Crooked Shadow, by Kurt Steel)

Spalpeen

In old radio shows, if there was an Irishman involved, sooner or later you were going to hear the word "spalpeen" used. I just saw it in Stuart Palmer's book, The Penguin Pool Murder. Just exactly what is a spalpeen? He is a rascal, and that pretty much sums it up.

Concerning justice

Justice is bigger than human hates and loves and sympathies, not only legal justice, but abstract justice. The kind of justice that lets the letter of the law go sometimes to follow the spirit instead.

(from The Penguin Pool Murder, by Stuart Palmer)

What happened to "shan't"?

Can't. Won't  Those and other contractions are still healthy in our language. But what happened to "shan't"? Shall not. It is just that we do not use "shall," and so its contraction disappeared when it did?

Maybe one of those behind-the-scene facts of history

Alexander Ulyanov was the older brother of Vladimir Lenin, the Russian revolutionist. Ulyanov was involved in a plot of assassinate Tsar Alexander III, and was captured and hanged in 1887. Who knows if that might have played a part in Lenin's zeal for the revolution?

Which brand do you smoke?

"Have a chair first, won't you? Sorry that I haven't a Camel to offer you . . . wasn't that what you asked for last night? Would a Lucky do?" (from The Penguin Pool Murder by Stuart Palmer)

Richard Diamond smoked Camels. Jack Benny pushed Lucky Strikes. We are so unaccustomed to hearing cigarette advertising today that it looks strange, even in a novel.

How a detective works

Piper shook his head. "My dear Miss Withers, a detective has no beliefs. He either suspects or he knows. I have to suspect everybody and everything."

(from The Penguin Pool Murder, by Stuart Palmer)

Miss Withers gets in her digs

     The guard, fat and perspiring from his unaccustomed chase, took a firm grip of the prisoner's coat collar and jerked him into a sitting position. As he did so, three gold watches slid from the pocket and clinked musically on the floor.
     "A pickpocket, huh? said the guard.
     "Quite obvious, even to the most limited intelligence," pointed out Miss Withers. "I guessed it myself."
     "Stealing watches, too."
     "Do they look like grandfather clocks?"

(from The Penguin Pool Murder, by Stuart Palmer)

Barbara Hale trivia

Hale's most famous role was as the secretary of Perry Mason on the television program.

She began her professional career as a model for the comic strip Ramblin' Bill.

She and actor Bill Williams were married for 46 years and had three children, all named Katt (Williams' real-life name). She said, "It took me two years to talk him into marrying me." Williams became the star of The Adventures of Kit Carson television program, which ran for four seasons in the 1950s.

Perry Mason co-star Raymond Burr said she had "the best shriek in Hollywood," and she was known for her screams.

She has an orchid named for her.

On the set of Perry Mason she sketched constantly.

How John Dehner got his start

John Dehner was a prominent radio actor, starring in Have Gun, Will Travel and being a regular visitor on several other programs. He actually started his Hollywood career as an animator for Walt Disney. He then worked as a disc jockey (easy to imagine given his rich voice) and a professional pianist.

Always Bendix

For some reason, I have never cared for William Bendix as an actor. He always seemed to me to be a caricature of life, and therefore unable to portray real life. Even when he was a comic figure, which was most of the time, he came across as irritating rather than entertaining. And no matter who he was portraying, he always sounded like Bendix.

His Life of Riley radio show was very popular, but if it had not been for the supporting cast, it would not have had much going for it, in my opinion. ( John Brown as Digger O'Dell was great.) Bendix was an actor I could take or leave - preferably leave.

Bill Chadney - Peter Gunn's piano player

On the Peter Gunn television program, his girlfriend Edie (Lola Albright) performed with a small jazz combo in Mother's, a waterfront bar. The piano player in the combo was a regular bit part (rarely a speaking role), whose name was Emmett. The actor who played that part was Bill Chadney, who actually was a popular Southern California jazz pianist, who actually married Albright toward the end of the Gunn series. He opened three Chadney's restaurants, which featured live jazz, just like Mother's.

One of the good cops

Hollywood's policemen are not always uniformly good guys. Some of them have pretty "flexible" morals, some are needlessly brutal - all sorts have been depicted on the screen. But Peter Gunn's poor, abused pal, Lt. Jacoby, was one of the good guys. He was strictly honest, tireless in the pursuit of his duty, not to mention homely as a mud fence and always having to put up with the handsome, flashy Gunn and his gorgeous, jazz singer girlfriend. Gunn got the money and the girl, but Jacoby would always be there to bail him out at the last minute - and always with a hang-dog look.

Why he went to Hollywood

Antony Carbone was born in sunny Italy, but raised in Syracuse, New York, where they have legendary winters. He hated the cold and the snow, so he moved to California, determined to become an actor. Like many actors of Mediterranean lineage, his was a familiar face in crime and police dramas.

She wasn't buying it

A common-sense actress who was also a great actress: Teresa Wright. Here is what she said when Samuel Goldwyn terminated her contract:

I would like to say that I never refused to perform the services required of me; I was unable to perform them because of ill health. I accept Mr. Goldwyn’s termination of my contract without protest—in fact, with relief. The types of contracts standardized in the motion picture industry between players and producers are archaic in form and absurd in concept. I am determined never to set my name to another one… I have worked for Mr. Goldwyn seven years because I consider him a great producer, and he has paid me well, but in the future I shall gladly work for less if by doing so I can retain my hold upon the common decencies without which the most glorified job becomes intolerable.

John Doucette trivia

His ugly mug was familiar on the screen during my youth, almost always as a bad guy, and very often as the most brutal sort of thug. You probably remember his face, if not his name. What you might now know?

He was married to his wife, Katherine, for 43 years, and they had eight children.

He was said to be the fastest draw with a six-gun in Hollywood.

He fought in the Battle of the Bulge.

His father was a shoemaker, who would have to relocate frequently when his factory closed down. As a rule, Doucette attended 32 different elementary schools.

The death of Frances Day

Day was an actress who died in 1984 of leukemia. In her handwritten will she left this directive:

"[That] there be no notice or information of any kind of my death, except for and if a death certificate is obligatory. Any persons, private or Press, you shall simply say that I am no longer at this address. "Gone away. Destination unknown", and that is the truth."

James Gleason's son

James Gleason is one of our favorite actors, mainly for his portrayal of Inspector Oscar Piper in the Hildegarde Withers series of movies. In 1945 his son was in NYC, waiting for the deployment of his regiment to Europe, when he fell out of a fourth story window of the hotel which was being used to house troops. There were mixed opinions as to whether it was suicide or an accident.

Small country, beautiful queen

Bhutan is a small country, with less than a million people. Yet they may just have the most beautiful first lady (in this case, their queen) of any nation in the world. Jetsun Pema is the 29-year old who in 2011 married the king of Bhutan (I would give his name, but it is a mile long). They are distant cousins.

She may be mean as a snake and so high-maintenance that even a king cannot afford her, but she certainly has a positive effect upon the palace décor.

Miss Withers waxes sarcastic

     The guard, fat and perspiring, from his unaccustomed chase, took a firm grip of the prisoner's coat collar and jerked him into a sitting position. As he did so, three gold watches slid from the pocket and clinked musically on the tile floor.
     "A pickpocket, huh?" said the guard.
     "Quite obvious, even to the most limited intelligence," pointed out Miss Withers. "I guessed it myself."
     "Stealing watches, too."
     "Do they look like grandfather clocks?"

(from The Penguin Pool Murder, by Stuart Palmer)

   

Naval power graphically remembered

The battleship Iowa firing a broadside

Detached from pain

"It should be possible so to divorce the mind from the body that one could look at one's own physical pain with the same analytical detachment one directs toward the agony of another person."

This is a statement made in Dame Ngaio Marsh's novel, A Man Lay Dead. I will grant that perhaps this is theoretically possible in a few cases, but it is not something I would ever expect to be able to do.

Be skeptical

"When player cannot see man who deal cards, much wiser to stay out of game." 

(from Charlie Chan at the Race Track)

Emotional suicide

"He used, as far as I can recollect,  these very words: 'It's no go, Benny; I've been caught poaching and I've lost my license.' I asked him what he meant by that, and he laughed, very bitterly I thought, and said that marriage with a woman who understood you was emotional suicide, a phrase that had the advantage of sounding well and meaning nothing."

(from A Man Lay Dead, by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

When a great detective picks up the scent

The voice crackled on. Alleyn extended his call. He wrote busily, and gradually a curious expression - eager, doubtful, intensely concentrated - stole over his face. It was a look with which they were very familiar at the Yard.

(from A Man Lay Dead, by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

Get a butler before you plug him

"As a rule," he observed, "there is much less to be gleaned from the clothes of a man with a valet than from those of the poorer classes. 'Highly recommended by successful homicide' would be a telling reference for any man-servant."

(from A Man Lay Dead, by Dame Ngaio Marsh)

Women are worse

"When a woman is wicked and unscrupulous," said Parker, sententiously, "she is the most ruthless criminal in the world - fifty times worse than a man, because she is always so much more single-minded about it."

(from Unnatural Death, by Dorothy L. Sayers)

My favorite day, weather-wise

After one of our brutal, sauna-bath Arkansas summers, that first day when the air has just a little bit of that cool nip of autumn is my favorite. It refreshes the body, the mind - and the soul.

Gorse bushes

In her novel Unnatural Death, Dorothy L. Sayers refers to "gorse bushes." This is a common name for Ulex, which is a genus of flower plants.

Loneliness

Loneliness is one of the most painful of the emotions through which humans go. It is a tremendously powerful motivator, and frequently not a good one. Many people make bad decisions in order to escape loneliness. They think, "Better bad friends than no friends," when just the opposite is true.

If you want to get lost, go here

To the person who has anything to conceal - to the person who wants to lose his identity as one leaf among the leaves of a forest - to the person who asks no more than to pass by and be forgotten, there is one name above others which promises a haven of safety and oblivion. London. Where no one knows his neighbor. Where shops do not know their customers. Where physicians are suddenly called to unknown patients whom they never see again. Where you may lie dead in your house for months together unmissed and unnoticed till the gas-inspector comes to look at the meter. Where strangers are friendly and friends are casual. London, whose rather untidy and grubby bosom is the repository of so many odd secrets. Discreet, incurious and all-enfolding London.

(from Unnatural Death, by Dorothy L. Sayers)

Never foolishness

     "Regular brought up with 'osses I've been all my life. Work with 'em, slept with 'em - lived in a stable, you might say, sir."
     "You couldn't have better company," said Lord Peter.
     "That's right, sir, you couldn't. my wife always used to say she was jealous of the 'osses. Said I preferred their conversation to hers. Well, maybe she was right, sir. A 'oss never talks no foolishness, I says to her, and that's more than you can always say of women, ain't it, sir?"
     "It is indeed," said Wimsey.

(from Unnatural Death, by Dorothy L. Sayers)

Noisy failures

It's always the failures that make the noise. Successful murderers don't write to the papers about it. They don't even join in imbecile symposia to tell an inquisitive world "What Murder Means To Me," or "How I became a Successful Poisoner." Happy murderers, like happy wives, keep quiet tongues. And they probably bear just about the same proportion to the failures as the divorced couples do to the happily mated.

(from Unnatural Death, by Dorothy L. Sayers)

How to get by with crime

"Society is at the mercy of a murderer who is remorseless, who takes no accomplices and who keeps his head."

 (Edmund Pearson, from Murder at Smutty Nose, as quoted in Unnatural Death by Dorothy L. Sayers)

Strange-looking woman

Tall, over-dressed, Musquash and those abbreviated sort of shoes with jeweled heels and hardly any uppers - you know the sort of thing. Heavily peroxided, strong aroma of orifan wafted out upon the passer-by; powder too white for the fashion and mouth heavily obscured with sealing-wax red; eyebrows painted black to startle, not deceive; finger-nails a monument to Kraska - the pink variety.

(from Unnatural Death, by Dorothy L. Sayers)

Actually a very good singer

Roy Rogers actually had an outstanding light tenor voice. It was clear and clean and very listenable. He reminds me a lot of popular singer Jimmie F. Rodgers, who became famous for his rendition of "Honeycomb," among other hits. (See photo below.)

I think Dorothy has them pegged

Lord Peter paused, in the very act of ringing the bell. His jaw slackened, giving his long, narrow face a faintly foolish and hesitant look, reminiscent of the heroes of Mr. P. G. Wodehouse

(from Unnatural Death, by Dorothy L. Sayers)

Lord Peter is Lord Peter Wimsey, the amateur sleuth hero of several of her novels.