Tuesday, March 05, 2024

Not the brightest bulb

 If the leading incidents of S. F. Ukridge's disreputable career are to be given to the public - and not, as some might suggest, decently hushed up - I suppose I am the man to write them. Ukridge and I have been intimate since the days of school. Together we sported on the green, and when he was expelled no one missed him more than I. An unfortunate business, this expulsion. Ukridge's generous spirit, ever ill-attuned to school rules, caused him eventually to break the solemnest of them all by sneaking out at night to try his skill at the coco-nut-shies of the local village fair; and his foresight in putting on scarlet whiskers and a false nose for the expedition was completely neutralized by the fact that he absent-mindedly wore his school cap throughout the entire proceedings. He left the next morning, regretted by all.

(from "Ukridge's Dog College," by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

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