Thursday, September 19, 2019

Tough job

We arranged to start on the following Saturday from Kingston. Harris and I would go down in the morning, and take the boat up to Chertsey, and George, who would not be able to get away from the City till the afternoon (George goes to sleep at a bank from ten to four each day, except Saturdays, when they wake him up and put him outside at two) would meet us there.

(from Three Men In a Boat, by Jerome K. Jerome)

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Don't take short sea trips

     I objected to the sea trip strongly. A sea trip does you good when you are going to have a couple of months of it but, for a week, it is wicked.
     You start on Monday with the idea implanted in your bosom that you are going to enjoy yourself. You wave an airy adieu to the boys on shore, light your biggest pipe, and swagger about the deck as if you were Captain Cook, Sir Francis Drake, and Christopher Columbus all rolled into one. On Tuesday you wish you hadn't come. On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, you wish you were dead. On Saturday you are able to swallow a little beef tea, and to sit up on deck, and answer with a wan, sweet smile when kind-hearted people ask you how you feel now. On Sunday, you begin to walk about again, and take solid food. And on Monday morning, as, with your bag and umbrella in your hand, you stand by the gunwale, waiting to step ashore, you begin to thoroughly like it.

(from Three Men In a Boat, by Jerome K. Jerome)

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

A true hypochondriac

I said, "I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me. Life is brief, and you might pass away before I had finished. But I will tell you what is not the matter with me. I have not got housemaid's knee. Why I have not got housemaid's knee, I cannot tell you; but the fact remains that I have not got it. Everything else, however, I have got."

(from Three Men In a Boat, by Jerome K. Jerome)

Monday, September 16, 2019

NOT gourmet

We ate a silent and dismal dinner out of the cans I had salvaged from our cottage in Connecticut. Tomato soup, then black bean soup, then succotash for the main course. For dessert I offered Jeff his choice of vegetable soup or two marshmallows. He picked the marshmallows and threw them at me. Not playfully.

(from The Frightened Stiff, by Kelley Roos)

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Why husbands leave rearranging alone

     "Jeff, couldn't we just take an hour or two off from murder and try to make the place look like home? It would do wonders for my morale."
     "Sure, tell me what to do."
     "I should have known; Jeff wasn't much help. He would pick up a lamp or a chair, walk thoughtfully around the room with it, then deposit it exactly the same spot where it had been standing.

(from The Frightened Stiff, by Kelley Roos)

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Didn't look the part

He was a little man, his hands and feet so small that they seemed almost feminine. His eyes were meek and colorless, his face had the look of a scared rabbit. Never in a million years should George Turner have been cast as a landlord. If he could foreclose a mortgage, I could play tackle for West Point.

(from The Frightened Stiff, by Kelley Roos)

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Sneezewood

The common name for Ptaeroxylon is "sneezewood tree." It is found in southern Africa. The wood produces oils containing nieshoutol, which causes violent sneezing by workers exposed to it. It is not poisonous, but has been known to cause respiratory complications.

Ptaeroxylon obliquum, habitus, Walter Sisulu NBT.jpg