Thursday, April 28, 2016

A common redundancy

"Maybe, maybe not." The second half of that expression is not necessary. The word "maybe" carries with it the possibility that it will not happen.

Percival Forsythe Smith

This was the uncharacteristic name of a taxi driver in one of the episodes of The Green Hornet. He was in on the finish of the case, and since there was no reporter in this particular instance, decided he would call in the story himself - and maybe even become a reporter. But the cop on the case advised him to stick to driving.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Chuckles' epitaph

Here lies Chuckles, who wore brass knuckles
And slugged every man in Pomona.
He led quite a life
Till he picked on his wife
Now he's waring a wooden kimono

(As delivered by Digger O'Dell on The Life of Riley radio show)

Richard Diamond's habits

"I have lots of habits. I drink lots of milk, go to the fights, dance the meanest rhumba west of Ebbets Field and write fan letters to June Allyson." June Allyson was, of course, his wife.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut

My father found this story in a humor book years ago. It is great fun to read.


The Story of a Wicket Woof and a Ladle Gull

by H.L. Chace
Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.
Wan moaning, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset. "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!"
"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft.
Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.
"Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"
"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles."
"O hoe! Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den - O bore!"
Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinny retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, paunched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet ammonol pot honor groin-murder's nut cup an gnat-gun, any curdled ope inner bet.
Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough ball. "Comb ink, sweat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum, an stud buyer groin-murder's bet.
"O Grammar!" crater ladle gull historically,"Water bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"
"Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard," setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors phase.
"O Grammer, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!"
"Battered small chew whiff, doling," whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling.
"O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"
Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull's lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard-hoarded woof lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.
MURAL: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Spare the rod

"Sometimes quickest way to brain of young sprout is by impression on other end."
(from Charlie Chan's Murder Cruise)

Sunday, April 24, 2016

An under-appreciated swashbuckler ending

Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., was, in my opinion one of the best of the swashbucklers - certainly one of the most athletic. The climactic fight scene in the movie, The Exile, is one of the best in swashbuckling history. Fairbanks fights off the bad guys while jumping around on a windmill, including several rides up on the rotating wings.

A girl named Africa?

María África Gracia Vidal

That was the birth name of Actress Maria Montez.



"He could not look upon this girl and hear her voice and believe that she was not at heart as sound and sweet, tender and loyal, as any that any breathed." (from The Lone Wolf, by Louis Joseph Vance)

This is really an absurd statement, when you consider it. The Lone Wolf made his living by deceiving people, and for him to say that about a girl was tantamount to denying his own character. Of course, she is the heroine, so it turns out that his instincts were correct; but it is amazing that anyone like he would have had such instincts.

A big let-down

"It was anticlimax exaggerated to the proportions of the grotesque." That is a unique way of expressing it.

(from The Lone Wolf, by Louis Joseph Vance

Friday, April 22, 2016

Were Jack Benny and Fred Allen actually friends?

Allen himself wrote, "For years people have been asking me if Jack and I are friendly. I don't think that Jack Benny has an enemy in the world....He is my favourite comedian and I hope to be his friend until he is forty. That will be forever." (from Wikipedia)

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Would they know who Lillis was?

I wonder how many current students at Gonzaga University would recognize this name. It was, of course, the middle name of Harry (Bing) Crosby, arguably Gonzaga's most famous alumnus.

Mail Call radio show

This program was very much like the Bob Hope live on-site broadcasts to entertain military personnel, except that the cast varied from week to week. It essentially was a half-hour variety program, mixing in music and comedy, depending on who was in the line-up that particular week.