One tough chick

     "A tough baby?" inquired George anxiously

    "I dislike the expression. It is the sort of expression Mullett would use: and I know few things more calculated to make a thinking man shudder than Mullett's vocabulary. Nevertheless, in a certain crude, horrible way it does describe Mrs. Waddington.

    "There is an ancient belief in Tibet that mankind is descended from a demoness named Drasrinmo and a monkey. Both Sigsbee H. and Mrs. Waddington do much to bear out this theory. I am loath to speak ill of a woman, but it is no use trying to conceal the fact that Mrs. Waddington is a bounder and a snob and has a soul like the under-side of a flat stone."

(From The Small Bachelor, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse) 

Synthetic Westerner

     "Sigsbee H. Waddington," he said, "is one of those men who must, I think, during the formative years of their boyhood have been kicked on the head by a mule. It has been well said of Sigsbee H. Waddington that, if men were dominoes, he would be the double-blank. One of the numerous things about him that rule him out of serious consideration by intelligent persons is the fact that he is a synthetic westerner."

    "A synthetic Westerner?"

    "It is a little known, but growing sub-species akin to the synthetic Southerner - with which you are doubtless familiar."

(from The Small Bachelor, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

Amazing coincidence

    "Why shouldn't I goggle?"

     "Why should you?

    "Because," said George Finch, looking like a stuffed frog, "I love her."

    "Nonsense!"

    "It isn't nonsense"

    "Have you ever read my booklet on 'The Marriage Sane'?"

    "No, I haven't."

    "I show there that love is a reasoned emotion that springs from mutual knowledge, increasing over an extended period of time, and a community of tastes. How can you love a girl when you have never spoken to her and don't even know her name?"

    "I do know her name."

    "How?"

    "I looked through the telephone directory till I found out who lived at Number 16 East Seventy-ninth Street. It took me about a week because . . . "

    "Sixteen East Seventy-ninth Street? You don't mean that this girl you've been staring at is little Molly Waddington?"

(from The Small Bachelor, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

All that work for nothing

 I suppose authors generally have a special affection for those of their books which come out easily. It is not that we mind work - we are always ready to give our all for our Art - but it is nice when we are occasionally spared the blood, sweat, and tears, and there are few things more agonizing than the realization, afer one has written 50,000 words of a novel, that as a theatrical manager I knew used to say of a play which seemed to him to fall short of perfection, "It don't add up right."

(from the Preface to The Small Bachelor, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)

One tough hombre

     He was silent for several minutes. "I don't like it, Kim - that Neerland going after that man."

    "You leave 'em alone," Kim replied calmly. "That Key-Lock man is an old lobo. He's from away back at the forks of the crick. Anybody who gets that man in a corner has bit off a chunk, believe me, and he's better have the jaws to chew it!"

(from The Key-Lock Man, by Louis L'Amour)

A race against time

     Nine men rode out of Freedom, nine men with just one idea, to reach the scene before their community could be branded for murder. They left in the cool of the evening and they rode fast. changing horses twice before they reached Tuba City.

    Neill, hoping and expecting that the men of Freedom would be with him, had arranged for horses to be waiting for them at Tuba. Yet swiftly as they rode, he knew there was hardly once chance in a thousand that they would arrive in time.

    But he was banking on the courage of the man Keelock, and of a woman whom he had never met.

(from The Key-Lock Man, by Louis L'Amour)

Have to have direction

 A man needed a plan, he needed direction. If he did not have that, he had nothing. A man, like a ship at sea, might change course many times in getting to an eventual destination, but he must always be going somewhere, not simply drifting.

(from The Key-Lock Man, by Louis L'Amour)

To make his own way

He wanted a ranch with good grass and water, and he wanted cattle to make money, and horses simply because he loved them. He wsa not waiting around to fall heir to a fortune, nor to marry a rich wife, nor to steal enough to get by. He knew there was no easy way, and he was not looking for one. It was his pride that he walked his own trail, saddled his own broncs, and fought his own battles. And he earned his own money.

(from The Key-Lock Man, by Louis L'Amour)

Accidental death

 But I was worried. Noble Bishop would be wanting that gold, and how much of my story he believed I didn't know. Only thing I was sure of was that he hadn't wanted a shoot-out down there by the creek. There were too many people and too many guns, and it would be a matter of luck, not skill, if a man survived. There were too many chances of a wild bullet doing what you didn't mean an aimed bullet to do.

(from Mustang Man, by Louis L'Amour)

Pacifier

     "They had a rope for you, all right, and I never did see such an outfit," Mims chuckled. "Mad? They were really scratching dirt and butting heads. Fact is, they talked some about lynching me on general principles."

    "What stopped 'em?"

    "I had me an old ten-gauge shotgun in the cabin. After you taken off I just went back and loaded her up. Time or two I've noticed that a ten-gauge shotgun is quite a pacifier. Folks who get riled up and want to twist someone's tail sort of calm down when they see one."

(from Mustang Man, by Louis L'Amour)

Old age

 We all needed rest, Mims most of all. When I looked at the old man it gave me a twist of pain inside. I was young and strong and tough now, this was the way a man could be when he grew old. It was old age I could see in the face of Harry Mims now.

(from Mustang Man, by Louis L'Amour)

Lead indigestion

 My foolishness for the eyes of Penelope did not lead me to foolishness with Loomis. There was no nonsense in me where men were concerned, and if he wanted my kind of trouble I'd serve it up hot and well done for him, and he'd get indigestion from it, too, or I'd know the reason why.

(from Mustang Man, by Louis L'Amour)

Ugly goes all the way to the bone

 But she was a fair lady, a girl's bright eyes have won the day more than once, and I was the fool ever to look into them. For I am an unhandsome man, and the romance in my heart does not show past the bend in my nose, or at least the girls don't seem to look beyond that.

(from Mustang Man, by Louis L'Amour)

The buzzard of the western world

 When I rode in Penelope gave me an odd look, but nothing was said. I had an idea Flinch knew what was going on, for that breed missed very little. He was the sort that remains on the side lines and then picks up the pieces after the fighting is over.

(from Mustang Man, by Louis L'Amour)

Reading the future

 It was in my mind to try to foresee what might happen, and so be prepared for it. There's no way I know of that a body can foresee the future, but sometimes he can read it pretty well if he knows the way folks think.

(from Mustang Man, by Louis L'Amour)

A friend in need

 But that was a good horse I rode now. Maybe the best I'd ever had, and I owed that old man a debt. There was something about him I cottoned to, anyway. He was a hard old man, and he would have torn my guts out with the buffalo gun if I'd made a move for my gun; but when the chips were down and I'd been holding no more than a couple of deuces, he had come through.

(from Mustang Man, by Louis L'Amour)

Really his

       When I came in the door of the cabin, Ange stood with her back to it. I could see her shoulders hunch a mite as if she expected to be hit, and I said, "This fool ain't married."

    She turned around and looked at me. "He will be," she said, and dropped her spoon on the floor and came across the room and right into my arms.

    So I taken her in my arms and for the first time in my life I had something that was really mine. Seems like even a long, tall man who ain't much for looks can find him a woman, too.

(from Sackett, by Louis L'Amour)

Pogonip

 In his novel, Sackett, Louis L'Amour makes this statement: "It was the worst sleet storm I'd ever seen, worse even than the pogonips in Nevada."

A pogonip is "a dense winter fog containing frozen particles that is formed in deep mountain valleys of the western U.S." According to a reporter with the Reno Gazette Journal, "the freezing fog so adversely affected the native peoples’ lives that they called it 'pogonip,' which translates to 'white death.' They stayed inside their shelters until the weather warmed."

Keep an eye on the cook

     After a few minutes the bartender came in with the grub and we started to eat. Cap was right. This man could sure put the groceries together.

    "He can cook, all right," I said to Cap. How'd he kill that man?"

    "Poisoned him," cap said, and grinned at me.

(from Sackett, by Louis L'Amour)

Ask permission first

     Thinking of Orrin's mellow Welsh voice a-singing, I came fresh to hear my own voice, so I took a swallow from my canteen and tipping my head back, I gave out with a song. It was "Brennan on the Moor," about an Irish highwayman, a song I dearly loved to hear Orrin sing.

    I didn't get far. A man who plans to sing while he's riding had better reach an understanding with his horse. He should have him a good voice, or a horse with no ear for music.

(from Sackett, by Louis L'Amour)

Just wouldn't be satisfied

     "Mister," I said, "if you ain't any slicker with that pistol than you were with that bottom deal, you'd better not have at it."

    Trouble was, he wouldn't be content with one mistake, he had to make it two; so he had at it, and they buried him out west of town where men were buried who die by the gun.

(from Sackett, by Louis L'Amour)

A nervous woman with a gun

     In his room on the second floor of the hotel Jackson Huddy held his rifle easily in his hands and looked down into the square. He could see Duvarney's shoulder . . . just a little more now, and . . .

    "Mr. Huddy?"

    He turned sharply. Jessica Trescott was standing within ten feet of him and she was holding a very steady Colt House Pistol aimed at his stomach. Mr. Huddy, I would take it kindly if you would just put that rifle down, then unbuckle your gun belt, very carefully."

    "I never shot a woman," Huddy said. "I never would."

    "The reverse is not true, Mr. Huddy. This woman has never shot a man, but believe me, she certainly would. Also, I am somewhat nervous, and if I start shooting it is likely I will empty this gun into you.

    "You see, Mr. Huddy, I came west to marry Mr. Duvarney. I came out here because I love him and I want to bear children for him and to live out my life with him, so if you think I am going to let a man like you come between us with a bullet, you're wrong. I will kill you, Mr. Huddy, if you do not come away from that window, get on your horse, and ride right out of our lives.

    "Mady Coppinger told me you came from Alabama, Mr. Huddy. The only city in Alabama that I know is Mobile. It is very lovely at this time of year. Would you go now . . . please?"

(from Matagorda, by Louis L'Amour)

Fear

     She searched his face. "You aren't afraid?"

    "He shrugged. I expect I am, a little. Fear sets a man up sometimes for what he has to face. A little fear does no harm, just so it doesn't put a man on the run."

(from Matagorda, by Louis L'Amour)

Not one shot

 He decided that he could take it for granted that Huddy was a good shot with a rifle, but he would also remember that Huddy, now at least, was not a gambler. Huddy would study his victim, stay with him until he got within easy range, then shoot him down. From all he had heard, Huddy was a one-shot killer - it was even a matter of pride with him. That meant Duvarney must not give him that one shot until he was ready to do so.

(from Matagorda, by Louis L'Amour)

Out of the storm

 With Bean supporting Kittery, and Spicer walking alongside, they got back to the shelter of the overhang. Once they were out of the immediate roar and rush of the storm, it was like a reprieve from some ghastly hell, or from a wind-tortured world where one gasped for every breath, struggled to make every step.

(from Matagorda, by Louis L'Amour)

Alone in a storm

 The others were gathered about her, together yet alone; for in a terrible storm each person is alone within their minds, cowering with their own private fears, their uncertainties. There is no isolation like that brought on by storm, for the voice cannot rise above the wind, nor can it reach that private place within the head where man hovers in the midst of all that he is and has been.

(from Matagorda, by Louis L'Amour)