"My sympathies are all with you," Miss Dolby continued, softening. I wish you life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and I shall give three hearty cheers if you come through, but I'm like the referee in a football game. He can't take sides. He may want the boys in the pink shirts to clobber the lads in the green with purple stripes, but he doesn't allow that to affect his decisions. Let the pinkos step for an instant from the strait and narrow path and, much as he loves them, up goes his whistle and starts tootling."
(from Bachelors Anonymous, by Sir Pelham Wodehouse)