"For pity's sake, my dear Dikon, drive a little away from the edge of the abyss. Can this mountain goat track possibly be a main road?"
"It's the only road from Harpoon to Wai-ata-tapu, sir. You wanted somewhere quiet, you know, and these are not mountains. There are no mountains in the Northland. The big stuff is in the South."
"I'm afraid you're a scenic snob. To me this is a mountain. When I fall over the edge of this precipice, I shall not be found with a sneer on my lips because the drop was merely five hundred feet instead of a thousand."
(from Colour Scheme, by Dame Ngaio Marsh)
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