Empress of Blandings and Pride of Matchingham

Who, having an ounce of agricultural interest, does not know of these two titans of the porcine world? Annually they battle it out in the Fat Pigs category at the Shropshire Agricultural Show. To date (we say with satisfaction), the Empress has bested her arch-rival from Matchingham Hall. However, given the seemingly perpetual connivery that seems to occur between the two teams (usually fomented by either Lord Ickenham or The Hon. Galahad Threepwood), it is a wonder that either of the hogs gets enough rest to gain any weight.